School Daze

Written by The Square Parent Tuesday, 31 March 2009 00:00

What's the best school, and how does a parent get their kid or kids into that best school?  This is a topic that can reduce otherwise highly educated people into blathering idiots devoid of all rational thought, except during those lucid moments when they become merely stupid.

Why does the subject of education seem to make people so violently unintelligent?

The question of the best school is on the mind of many a parent, regardless of the kid's age.  It could pertain to daycare, kindergarten, elementary school, magnet high school, college, graduate school, and Ph.D. programs.  It's a contemporary obsession.  As if only the kid gets into the best school, then his or her chances for success will be greatly enhanced. 

It's not like a good school is a black box where the kid is inserted, there's a loud wooshing sound, and a few years later, some mini-genius emerges with impeccable manners, first-rate networking skills, silky smooth (never greasy or abrasive) aggressiveness, razor-sharp street smarts, and an intuitive sense verging on clairvoyance (particularly when it comes to commodity futures).  No school can teach any of that.

But is this really true?  Does the best school really increase the odds for success?  Do they provide the proper tools for success?  Is it possible to go to a good school and still not be successful (however that's defined)?  What about the successful people who attended "mediocre" or "bad" schools? 

What exactly are the "tools for success" anyway?  What is the nature of success?  All of this relies on a lot of really broad terminology that's often not very well defined, if at all.  What if the kid grows up to be very successful in advertising, but is still miserable and on his third marriage by age 34?  What if he's a successful junkie?  What if she becomes a stupendously brilliant scientist who creates an antibody that suddenly mutates, resulting in a global toad holocaust? 

These are all extreme examples that illustrate just a fraction of the dilemmas that someone will face that choice of school will not help to resolve.   

OK then, but this still leaves the question of the "tools for success."  Does this presume that these tools are like those of a complete tool kit, and a specialized tool, like math ability, can be pulled out on demand?  If this is the case, then a good school that will nurture this ability will be an asset.  Right? 

Say the kid's a math and computer prodigy.  There are a thousand different paths that could be taken to get to one of a hundred thousand different occupations.  Naturally, the parents imagine one day the leader of a great computer company, acquiring other companies, a member of top management and leadership.... which raw skill in mathematics will not lead to in and of itself.  Not even close.

What about language ability - mastering English from a young age, conjugating verbs correctly, possessing a broad vocabulary, and then actually being able to use it? 

There are thousands of different factors that determine outcomes, and the actual school attended is just a small variable in a long series of equations. 

Among the many other factors that will influence and help to determine a child's success or failure, a big one is how the kid deals with failure.  Schools don't like to teach this one (it's the other "F" word).  Then there's the influence of friends and relatives, the number and quality of books he or she has been exposed to and at what age, innate intelligence, ability to form social connections, attention span and capacity for concentration, and many other factors that have little to do with any school. 

Naturally, there's a bias in favor of the good schools.  But is there any empirical data?  The "data" is often riddled with so many contradictions, exceptions, and qualifiers that it requires it's own sets of complex and interlocking theories, each in turn riddled with so many contradictions, exceptions, and qualifiers that it's of limited practical use.

The paradox is that parents are always being told to trust their instincts, which is sound advice.  As such, how could any parent want to send their kid to a lousy school?  They don't, and shouldn't.  But don't go overboard int he opposite direction, either.

On the other hand, the choice of school is not the be-all, end-all, and is probably wildly overrated.  Time and effort might be better spent reading Greek myths, inventing adding games, watching Masterpiece Theater, or letting them play with other kids absent parental referees, as opposed to not being as interactive with the kid because of all of the time it takes to fill out the applications, make the phone calls, do the research, and on and on. 

There's a lot to be said for lucid moments.  As a parent, it's often the best you can do.